Terrible Love vs. Laser Vision

So when I was younger, my parents bought me a Superman cape to wear around the house because I wanted to be a hero at that stage of my life (I'm still in that stage of life, too). And I wore that cape a lot. I put it on and became super strong, learned to fly, and to shoot lasers out of my eyes. It became a part of my identity to "fight crime" in the Jacobson house and to "knock it to the ground" and tell it "I'm Superman!"

Unfortunately for me, the "crime" that I was fighting and knocking to the ground had a name: Lindsey. However, fortunately for me, I seemed to have dodged a bullet on this particular occasion because I never got punished for that.

But I was the hero; I was indestructible; I had the power!

There's been a lot in the news recently about people who remember what happened ten years ago and where they were when the got the news about the Twin Towers. It has reminded me of the pain that many people experience and continue to experience because of losing loved ones. It has reminded me of the prejudice, even hatred that some feel for others. This day reminds me of the pain and emotion (almost every one of them is being felt somewhere) because of terrible tragedies.

And so I have to ask myself what I think about 9/11 in light of my faith in a good, loving, and forgiving God. So where was God in all of this?

From what I know of the God that I have seen and experienced, God was in New York. He was running up flights of steps to try to find one more person to lead out of a falling building. He was in D.C. He was in Pennsylvania putting out fires in a field. And I'm even going to say that he was in the Middle East wrapping his loving, compassionate arms around the families who had just lost a loved one.

That was a terrifying day, certainly. But I think there is more to it than just that. Because on that day, an amazing thing happened too. (I'm not saying that I think that 9/11 happened so this would also happen, just that people responded in a way that looked like more like the kingdom than like this broken world.) Many people, instead of using their relationships to control and manipulate others, called a loved one that they hadn't spoken to in months or even years to tell them they loved each other. Families put aside differences in order to show their love for each other. People all over realized a love that was deeper than relationships based on power or control. A love was found that was based on humanity, rather than ability.

Henri Nouwen says that power can become an easy substitute for love. It is "easier to control people than to love people." But for a brief moment, it didn't matter that I had ever worn a Superman cape and been powerful. What mattered was my sister and the fact that I loved her. (You better read this, Lindsey!) What mattered were the people that surrounded me, and them knowing that I cared about them.

I think that is a bit of what the terrible love of the kingdom of God can look like (Terrible as in serious or extreme, not horrific). People lay aside their abilities and their resumes and instead take up their humanity. Even in the worst of situations, where death and pain seem to have won the day, there is love still. And I'm willing to bet that this love, the love that comes from God, is stronger than laser vision.

Easter Again?

Easter was just eight days ago, but maybe we should celebrate again...

One thing that I have noticed about myself and others around me is that we all have very firm opinions. These opinions range from favorite foods to favorite sports teams (the Rangers, by the way) and from ways of life to ways of viewing life. Everyone is obsessed with what they think the best thing is and how to "help" others see that this is the best thing, myself definitely included.

But what if this isn't the way that we were intended to live around each other. I remember in elementary and middle school being asked to write persuasive speeches or letters to my parents or friends. I also distinctly remember not being any good at them. I would write what I thought was a decent persuasion, but at the end of it, I learned that I was wrong (or maybe just that my parents were extremely stubborn).

Maybe we weren't supposed to relate to each other by thinking what was in our own personal best interests, but by asking what was in the best interests of everyone involved.

If that's the case, then Easter makes much more sense to me. Jesus came to live among us, not to show us how terrible we were or to show what was best for himself. He came, died, and then lived again so that everyone could do the same.

I know that this is one of those topics that everyone has a very firm opinion of, but I can't help but think about the Easter holiday when thinking about the death of bin Laden. Maybe it's because the holiday was so close in proximity, or maybe it's because we view Easter more as a holiday than a lifestyle. I can't help but think that we (myself included again here) missed something.

Just a week after celebrating Christ's resurrection and new life that comes from that, we (as a nation) are celebrating death. Something there doesn't quite resonate with these two events for me. While I am not saying that I believe bin Laden deserved life or death (that's not for me to decide anyways), I am saying that I question the reaction to such an event from a Christian's perspective.

I'm not saying this to stir the pot or try to make people feel guilty or make people think exactly what I think. I'm saying this because I think that I've missed out on something that happens at Easter for everyone, and maybe you have too. Easter isn't a holiday, it's a lifestyle. If Christ is resurrected, it changes everything. Everyone, regardless of age, race, gender, living conditions, political views, or country of origin has access to life. Not all choose it, but everyone has access.

If you believe this, Easter becomes more than a holiday, and the death of a person does not give reason to celebrate.

So maybe we (or maybe just me) need to celebrate Easter again, just eight days after it actually happened. But this time without death as the focus. This time, Easter will mean that everyone can have life.

Jesus came to bring life, and not just for me, but for the world and everyone in it. It's time that I recognize that life is meant for more people than just me. And maybe, just maybe, the whole church needs this too.

A Flood of Justice

So the past couple weeks, I have been listening to Jon Foreman a lot, which isn't too out of the ordinary. However, I have been listening to one song more than others: 'Instead of a Show.' The lyrics indicate that rather than constantly being fed and fed by the church and instead of the church putting on a show for those in attendance, the church should open up a flood of justice.

As I think about these things, I can't help but feel small. After all, I am just one college aged kid who doesn't know as much about life or difficult circumstances as most other people in the world do. I feel small because I don't know what difference I can make or whether or not I will mess it up if I can make a difference. But then again, if I am a part of God's plan, I don't really think I have a say in whether or not I can mess it up.

And going back to the Jon Foreman's song something really resonates with me when I think about the words and what the role of the church should be in the world. We (the church, God's people) are a people set apart by God, not simply so that we can feel special or have a bigger place in God's heart, but rather so that we can turn around and show others that the spot we have in God's heart is not just for us but for everyone else too. And that sounds to me like a good bit of justice.

From last summer I really learned a lot about some of the injustices of the world. Spending time with street kids helped me to see that there is a lot that has gone wrong with the world. The fact that kids don’t have anywhere to go where they feel wanted that they turn to the streets is, in my mind, a terrible thing. I have to think about my growing up and realize that I had more than I could have ever needed and I grew up in a church that was very much the same way.

So where does the church fit on the continuum of justice? Has it been moving toward the justice end more and more? Or the injustice end? And even more than the church, where do I fit on the continuum?

"And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

What would it look like if every action I took was deeply cemented in justice? If every action of every Jesus follower was first dedicated to justice? That flood of justice just might start to look a little bit like the kingdom of God here on earth.

Join in on the Joy

I spend a lot of time wondering about things. I wonder about why I put effort into school, I wonder why the Cowboys always seem to think that this year they will get to the super bowl when they have yet to do so in the past 15+ years, and I wonder about some people too (like Travis...poor guy...).

Then there are the more important things that I wonder about. I wonder about what I should spend the rest of my life doing, how I can start doing the kind of things that I want to do for the rest of my life now, and how I can help people/have them help me along the way.

But more on that later.

I have spent about an equal time over the past six months with either really poor people who barely have anything, but have joy, or with really wealthy people, who have everything, but can't seem to enjoy it.

It seems odd, doesn't it? What we all want is to be truly happy and so we try to fill our lives with everything we can to bring us joy. But usually, it doesn't really work. Sometimes what we have can make us happy, but it's never enough. It's like it is just a taste (and a terrible taste) of what actual happiness is. But then, whenever we lose something, we are able to see that it wasn't actually doing much to make us happy.

We use our possessions, our titles, our securities to make us happy. The only problem is, when we do that, we sit stagnant behind them, unable to move or breathe or even live. What we hope will give us joy, gives us slavery (or if you'd like a less intense word--worries).

Whenever we lose these things, or whenever we don't have them to begin with, we find that we are finally able to live life. It may not be what we would consider our ideal life, but it is much better than not living at all. We are able to find joy in small things that we had previously found to be valueless.

And this brings me back to wondering. I wonder why we have this idea that things will fulfill us and make us into the fullness of who we really are. We say that our identity, who we are in essence, is based on whatever title or thing we possess, but that's just not true. Our identity comes from being who we were created to be. It is not in adding to ourselves through possession or popularity. It is just who we are that is valueable.

I think that is a lesson that everybody, especially me, can and needs to learn. We need to stop defining ourselves by what we own, what we are in, or what we can do; and instead, start seeing the beauty in everybody and everything. When we can do that, a smile on someone's face, a bright sunny day, or a simple hello will begin to create joy in us. Being joyful won't be a foreign concept that we strive for, but it will be everywhere, waiting for us to join in on the joy.

Gifts

So I came to Denver knowing the general idea of what a gift was but not really thinking much about it. I thought that a gift was something precious given from one person to another. And it is. It's something toward which thought and time and maybe even some money have been given.

But now it's so much more.

We've talked a lot over the last few weeks about gifts being more than what I've mentioned above. We have talked about how giving a gift means that you are sacrificing something, maybe a part of who you are or what makes you, you. A gift isn't necessarily something you can buy from a store or online. It's not even necessarily something that you thought of originally. It is something that comes from deep within a person. Let's say that I want to give a gift to a friend. The best gift that I can give to my friend is something that pours out from my soul.

That's what God did for us. If you think about it, God's gift was the ultimate gift; the ultimate sacrifice; the ultimate way for him to pour his soul into us, his creation.

I know that as Christians we hear this message all the time, but I wonder if this particular message is beginning to fall on deaf ears. How often, during communion, do we feel ourselves filling with joy? Shouldn't we be? We are remembering this sacrifice of God's on our behalf and remembering the shame of the cross. But when we remember the cross, don't we also have to remember the empty tomb, the great hope we have for life with God now and forever? I think that we should start celebrating our hope that comes from God's gift.

Also, I can't help but feel that when we receive a gift this personal, from anyone, it is impossible to not be ecstatic about it. You can't help but tell everyone that you received an unexplainably awesome gift from someone. It's like the gift goes from one person's soul straight into your ow nand you can't help but make it known that it is now a part of your soul too.

So you may be asking what brought about this strong feeling about gifts? Let me tell you:

So a couple weeks ago, I was at one of our weekly picnics when up rolls a woman named Barbara. She is not a street kid, but she still comes to our picnics almost every week. Barbara also happens to be completely handicapped. She cannot walk, talk, or use her hands, but she still has complete brain function. She is able to communicate by pointing with her feet to words on a chart. It really is quite impressive to watch.

At this particular picnic two weeks ago, I began to talk with her for a long time. When it finally came time her to leave, I told her that I hoped she would come back the next week. And she did. She came back this past Friday and came directly over to me. Once I had gotten her chart out, she told me that she had made something for me with her feet and had it in her bag. I looked in her bag and pulled out her gift.

This gift was by no means the most expensive or most needed gift I have ever received or wanted but it is probably the one that I will remember for the longest.

It would have been a simple gift for any other person I knew, but coming from her, it was clearly something she had poured herself into. It was simply a necklace of beads strung together on a piece of string.

I think it's amazing that this gift struck me so deeply. And I think that it's a true statement of the gifts that have true meaning. The simple gifts that come from a place deep within are the gifts that matter. And just like the story of the necklace or God's sacrifice on the cross, these gifts don't stay bottled up inside. They are shared with anyone who will listen.

Dancing

Since I arrived in Denver, the staff of DryBones, the other interns, and of course our friends on the streets have been constantly teaching me things. I cannot think of a day yet when I haven't learned or realized something new that is changing the way that I interact with others.

One thing that I have learned is a metaphor about the kingdom of God that I have become rather fond of: dancing.

I'll start with a little background on myself. I grew up since the age of about 9 until now (19)in a Church of Christ church and going to a private school associated with the Church of Christ. My school didn't have dances at homecoming or prom, and so dancing was never something that I had the opportunity to do. Which means that there wasn't much dancing in me. And there still isn't. I just don't have the moves.

So when I got to Denver, the staff started sharing different ideas with us about how they saw the kingdom of God through the lens of their experiences here. They told us that while we were here we shouldn't view our opportunity to hang out with street kids as time to bring Jesus to them. We shouldn't approach the kids as if we are presenting Jesus to them. Because we aren't. We are not the carriers of Jesus. We are the followers of Jesus. Jesus was already on the streets of downtown Denver before we even got there, and we are just following him to the places that he is working.

So what does dancing have to do with this? Well, a pretty cool way to look at it is like this:

God is hosting this big dance, and we are all invited. What's really awesome though, is that, if we join the dance, if we accept the invitation, we all get to dance with Jesus. We get to see his moves and partner with him in his work.

That's what we were told to do when we meet kids on the streets. Join in God's dance. It's already started and it's already moving people.

What exactly does that mean for us? For one, it means that its not our duty to show Jesus off to the world. We don't have to have the best moves because Jesus is right there with us dancing. He is showing himself to those who see the invitation, to those who hear the music, to those who need a dance the most. This means that we are freed from the responsibility to be perfect in our faith, actions, and beliefs. We no longer should worry if our theology is better than another's, but rather, we should serve people. We don't have to be 100% correct. We just have to be willing to join in the dance with our Lord. He will lead us. He will show us the path to him.

I find this idea refreshing and renewing. I no longer feel burdened to be totally right. Yes, I still strive to find what is right, but now I am not searching for the path, I am being led to it.

Another thing that is really cool about the kingdom of God being like a dance is that when others hear the music and see dancing, it's difficult to not want to join in too. A sort of contagious dance breaks out when we realize that its not us, but rather Jesus who is changing others. It's hard to stop dancing when it is so freeing.

So... Join in the dance. I think that you will find that its hard to stop once you've been a part of it.

Schedule

So I was asked to give a basic schedule of what a day looks like while I am here in Denver and what it is exactly that we do to show love everyday. The answer to that question is not quite as easy as it may sound because the truth is, we don't always do the same things. But here is what a basic week long schedule looks like.

Monday- On Mondays, the other interns and myself go to Lakewood Church of Christ to meet the youth group that is coming for the week and to help them pack for their trip up to the mountains. Mondays are pretty cool days for a few reasons, the first being that we get to meet some pretty cool, and often times, very interesting kids who have come to share life with us. Another reason is because we get the afternoon off. I know that sounds a little strange, but having only Sunday completely off means that all the other days we are living in relationship with people, which is a little tiring.

Tuesday- We (the interns) meet the staff at the office downtown in the morning for a small devotional. The devotional can be a Bible study or just a thought provoking conversation about something that may have happened recently. We then may do various chores around the office to keep it clean and tidy. In the afternoons, we walk around downtown trying to find some of our friends or people we don't know to just talk with them and find out how they are doing.

Wednesday- Wednesdays are very similar in form to Tuesdays. Really the only difference is that for lunch, we have lunch at the office with some of our friends from the streets and have a devotional afterword.

Thursday- On Thursdays the youth group that arrived on Monday comes down from the mountain and back into the city. So Thursday mornings we prepare the rooms where they will stay at the church for them. When they arrive, we help them unpack, clean their tents, and turn in their gear. After all the gear is unpacked and turned in and after we eat lunch, we take them on what we call Turf Tours. Basically, we show them an area of downtown where a lot of our friends live life and what happens in those areas. After that we go bowling with a bunch of our friends. (Bowling is a pretty sweet way to meet and get to know some people, by the way.) After bowling, we serve a meal and talk with whoever shows up for food.

Friday- On Fridays, we take the youth group downtown to go on an Urban Plunge with two of our friends, Tonya and Mickey. An Urban Plunge is basically where the group has to spend a few hours living out a certain scenario. For instance, they are new in town, have no money, but one of their friends is in jail and they need to try to bail him out. Then they have to find a place to stay and food, all without having money or knowing anyone in town. After the Urban Plunge, half of the group will go to the movies with a few of our friends, while the other half goes to a park downtown and has a picnic with anyone who shows up. We make sandwiches and have conversations with everyone who comes.

Saturday- Saturday is a similar to Friday. In the morning the youth groups will split up into groups and walk downtown to have conversations with the older homeless population. In the afternoon the groups switch and the group that went to the movie goes to the picnic and vice versa. After the picnic, we go out to eat. When we finish eating, we take the youth group to a park where we have a final devotional. At the devotional, they write letters to themselves about what they saw and learned during the week. These letters then get mailed back to them in six months so that they will remember this week. Then we send them on their way home to love the people in their communities and neighborhoods.

This is a loose schedule of what happens during the week and what we do to show love to others, and obviously there is much more that goes on than what I have said here. I hope this helps to understand what we do and are trying to do for the marginilized here in Denver.