Join in on the Joy

I spend a lot of time wondering about things. I wonder about why I put effort into school, I wonder why the Cowboys always seem to think that this year they will get to the super bowl when they have yet to do so in the past 15+ years, and I wonder about some people too (like Travis...poor guy...).

Then there are the more important things that I wonder about. I wonder about what I should spend the rest of my life doing, how I can start doing the kind of things that I want to do for the rest of my life now, and how I can help people/have them help me along the way.

But more on that later.

I have spent about an equal time over the past six months with either really poor people who barely have anything, but have joy, or with really wealthy people, who have everything, but can't seem to enjoy it.

It seems odd, doesn't it? What we all want is to be truly happy and so we try to fill our lives with everything we can to bring us joy. But usually, it doesn't really work. Sometimes what we have can make us happy, but it's never enough. It's like it is just a taste (and a terrible taste) of what actual happiness is. But then, whenever we lose something, we are able to see that it wasn't actually doing much to make us happy.

We use our possessions, our titles, our securities to make us happy. The only problem is, when we do that, we sit stagnant behind them, unable to move or breathe or even live. What we hope will give us joy, gives us slavery (or if you'd like a less intense word--worries).

Whenever we lose these things, or whenever we don't have them to begin with, we find that we are finally able to live life. It may not be what we would consider our ideal life, but it is much better than not living at all. We are able to find joy in small things that we had previously found to be valueless.

And this brings me back to wondering. I wonder why we have this idea that things will fulfill us and make us into the fullness of who we really are. We say that our identity, who we are in essence, is based on whatever title or thing we possess, but that's just not true. Our identity comes from being who we were created to be. It is not in adding to ourselves through possession or popularity. It is just who we are that is valueable.

I think that is a lesson that everybody, especially me, can and needs to learn. We need to stop defining ourselves by what we own, what we are in, or what we can do; and instead, start seeing the beauty in everybody and everything. When we can do that, a smile on someone's face, a bright sunny day, or a simple hello will begin to create joy in us. Being joyful won't be a foreign concept that we strive for, but it will be everywhere, waiting for us to join in on the joy.

Gifts

So I came to Denver knowing the general idea of what a gift was but not really thinking much about it. I thought that a gift was something precious given from one person to another. And it is. It's something toward which thought and time and maybe even some money have been given.

But now it's so much more.

We've talked a lot over the last few weeks about gifts being more than what I've mentioned above. We have talked about how giving a gift means that you are sacrificing something, maybe a part of who you are or what makes you, you. A gift isn't necessarily something you can buy from a store or online. It's not even necessarily something that you thought of originally. It is something that comes from deep within a person. Let's say that I want to give a gift to a friend. The best gift that I can give to my friend is something that pours out from my soul.

That's what God did for us. If you think about it, God's gift was the ultimate gift; the ultimate sacrifice; the ultimate way for him to pour his soul into us, his creation.

I know that as Christians we hear this message all the time, but I wonder if this particular message is beginning to fall on deaf ears. How often, during communion, do we feel ourselves filling with joy? Shouldn't we be? We are remembering this sacrifice of God's on our behalf and remembering the shame of the cross. But when we remember the cross, don't we also have to remember the empty tomb, the great hope we have for life with God now and forever? I think that we should start celebrating our hope that comes from God's gift.

Also, I can't help but feel that when we receive a gift this personal, from anyone, it is impossible to not be ecstatic about it. You can't help but tell everyone that you received an unexplainably awesome gift from someone. It's like the gift goes from one person's soul straight into your ow nand you can't help but make it known that it is now a part of your soul too.

So you may be asking what brought about this strong feeling about gifts? Let me tell you:

So a couple weeks ago, I was at one of our weekly picnics when up rolls a woman named Barbara. She is not a street kid, but she still comes to our picnics almost every week. Barbara also happens to be completely handicapped. She cannot walk, talk, or use her hands, but she still has complete brain function. She is able to communicate by pointing with her feet to words on a chart. It really is quite impressive to watch.

At this particular picnic two weeks ago, I began to talk with her for a long time. When it finally came time her to leave, I told her that I hoped she would come back the next week. And she did. She came back this past Friday and came directly over to me. Once I had gotten her chart out, she told me that she had made something for me with her feet and had it in her bag. I looked in her bag and pulled out her gift.

This gift was by no means the most expensive or most needed gift I have ever received or wanted but it is probably the one that I will remember for the longest.

It would have been a simple gift for any other person I knew, but coming from her, it was clearly something she had poured herself into. It was simply a necklace of beads strung together on a piece of string.

I think it's amazing that this gift struck me so deeply. And I think that it's a true statement of the gifts that have true meaning. The simple gifts that come from a place deep within are the gifts that matter. And just like the story of the necklace or God's sacrifice on the cross, these gifts don't stay bottled up inside. They are shared with anyone who will listen.

Dancing

Since I arrived in Denver, the staff of DryBones, the other interns, and of course our friends on the streets have been constantly teaching me things. I cannot think of a day yet when I haven't learned or realized something new that is changing the way that I interact with others.

One thing that I have learned is a metaphor about the kingdom of God that I have become rather fond of: dancing.

I'll start with a little background on myself. I grew up since the age of about 9 until now (19)in a Church of Christ church and going to a private school associated with the Church of Christ. My school didn't have dances at homecoming or prom, and so dancing was never something that I had the opportunity to do. Which means that there wasn't much dancing in me. And there still isn't. I just don't have the moves.

So when I got to Denver, the staff started sharing different ideas with us about how they saw the kingdom of God through the lens of their experiences here. They told us that while we were here we shouldn't view our opportunity to hang out with street kids as time to bring Jesus to them. We shouldn't approach the kids as if we are presenting Jesus to them. Because we aren't. We are not the carriers of Jesus. We are the followers of Jesus. Jesus was already on the streets of downtown Denver before we even got there, and we are just following him to the places that he is working.

So what does dancing have to do with this? Well, a pretty cool way to look at it is like this:

God is hosting this big dance, and we are all invited. What's really awesome though, is that, if we join the dance, if we accept the invitation, we all get to dance with Jesus. We get to see his moves and partner with him in his work.

That's what we were told to do when we meet kids on the streets. Join in God's dance. It's already started and it's already moving people.

What exactly does that mean for us? For one, it means that its not our duty to show Jesus off to the world. We don't have to have the best moves because Jesus is right there with us dancing. He is showing himself to those who see the invitation, to those who hear the music, to those who need a dance the most. This means that we are freed from the responsibility to be perfect in our faith, actions, and beliefs. We no longer should worry if our theology is better than another's, but rather, we should serve people. We don't have to be 100% correct. We just have to be willing to join in the dance with our Lord. He will lead us. He will show us the path to him.

I find this idea refreshing and renewing. I no longer feel burdened to be totally right. Yes, I still strive to find what is right, but now I am not searching for the path, I am being led to it.

Another thing that is really cool about the kingdom of God being like a dance is that when others hear the music and see dancing, it's difficult to not want to join in too. A sort of contagious dance breaks out when we realize that its not us, but rather Jesus who is changing others. It's hard to stop dancing when it is so freeing.

So... Join in the dance. I think that you will find that its hard to stop once you've been a part of it.

Schedule

So I was asked to give a basic schedule of what a day looks like while I am here in Denver and what it is exactly that we do to show love everyday. The answer to that question is not quite as easy as it may sound because the truth is, we don't always do the same things. But here is what a basic week long schedule looks like.

Monday- On Mondays, the other interns and myself go to Lakewood Church of Christ to meet the youth group that is coming for the week and to help them pack for their trip up to the mountains. Mondays are pretty cool days for a few reasons, the first being that we get to meet some pretty cool, and often times, very interesting kids who have come to share life with us. Another reason is because we get the afternoon off. I know that sounds a little strange, but having only Sunday completely off means that all the other days we are living in relationship with people, which is a little tiring.

Tuesday- We (the interns) meet the staff at the office downtown in the morning for a small devotional. The devotional can be a Bible study or just a thought provoking conversation about something that may have happened recently. We then may do various chores around the office to keep it clean and tidy. In the afternoons, we walk around downtown trying to find some of our friends or people we don't know to just talk with them and find out how they are doing.

Wednesday- Wednesdays are very similar in form to Tuesdays. Really the only difference is that for lunch, we have lunch at the office with some of our friends from the streets and have a devotional afterword.

Thursday- On Thursdays the youth group that arrived on Monday comes down from the mountain and back into the city. So Thursday mornings we prepare the rooms where they will stay at the church for them. When they arrive, we help them unpack, clean their tents, and turn in their gear. After all the gear is unpacked and turned in and after we eat lunch, we take them on what we call Turf Tours. Basically, we show them an area of downtown where a lot of our friends live life and what happens in those areas. After that we go bowling with a bunch of our friends. (Bowling is a pretty sweet way to meet and get to know some people, by the way.) After bowling, we serve a meal and talk with whoever shows up for food.

Friday- On Fridays, we take the youth group downtown to go on an Urban Plunge with two of our friends, Tonya and Mickey. An Urban Plunge is basically where the group has to spend a few hours living out a certain scenario. For instance, they are new in town, have no money, but one of their friends is in jail and they need to try to bail him out. Then they have to find a place to stay and food, all without having money or knowing anyone in town. After the Urban Plunge, half of the group will go to the movies with a few of our friends, while the other half goes to a park downtown and has a picnic with anyone who shows up. We make sandwiches and have conversations with everyone who comes.

Saturday- Saturday is a similar to Friday. In the morning the youth groups will split up into groups and walk downtown to have conversations with the older homeless population. In the afternoon the groups switch and the group that went to the movie goes to the picnic and vice versa. After the picnic, we go out to eat. When we finish eating, we take the youth group to a park where we have a final devotional. At the devotional, they write letters to themselves about what they saw and learned during the week. These letters then get mailed back to them in six months so that they will remember this week. Then we send them on their way home to love the people in their communities and neighborhoods.

This is a loose schedule of what happens during the week and what we do to show love to others, and obviously there is much more that goes on than what I have said here. I hope this helps to understand what we do and are trying to do for the marginilized here in Denver.

Homeless?

So it has been a great couple weeks since my last post. Since then a youth group from Pryor, Oklahoma has come and spent a week with us and our friends on the streets. They were a good group of kids and really seemed to enjoy their time here. They spent three days on the mountain with Zach, Cole, Matt, and Nikki and learned about the beauty of God's creation. Then they came and spent three days in the city with the rest of the interns and staff. We took them on turf tours through a park in the city, they helped us with picnics, movies, and bowling.

This week another group has come from Temple, Texas. They seem like a good group too and are on the mountain with Zach, Cole, and Ben until tomorrow. I think that my favorite part about having the youth groups come so far is the fact that they recognize the beauty of nature while they hike, and then they come to the city and see what really is beautiful to God, his people.

I have really been enjoying my time here. The people that I have met and that are a part of Dry Bones are incredible people. Even though I came here thinking the people I would meet would be cool, I have really started to understand that I had no idea how cool they actually are. I am learning a lot from the people that I talk to. Learning that mainly, life is hard. It's a lot harder than what I've grown up thinking. I was dealt a good hand and I am grateful, but it is difficult to understand the bad hands that some of the people here have had. It makes the situations in my life seem a whole lot less dramatic.

For instance, for the next two weeks, Ben and I's host family is having company stay with them and so we are couch surfing a bit with the other interns until we can move back into the Ribble's house. Also, they sold their house yesterday and so are now looking for a place to move to. I guess this makes Ben and I 'homeless' in a sense. But in all reality, all the interns and staff as well as the Ribble's have made it perfectly clear that we will have a place to stay. I'm not worrying about it because I know that they mean that. I also know that Jesus meant what he said when he told his followers not to worry about clothes or food or the next day because God wants to take care of us.

God has done some amazing things in the lives of many people here. We have heard story after story of people finding the Lord in their despair. But God is also not done yet. There are still many people here who need a friend.

If there was one thing I could ask you to do in the next week, it would be to remember that some are having a tough time, and to be thankful for the easy times. Be in prayer for the people here and know that God wants to take care of his people.

In the Dark and Bleeding Places

Today was Ben and I's first official day working in the actual city of Denver. And it was a long day. But even though it was a long day, it was still a great day.

We started by meeting together at Lakewood Church of Christ (the church that supports Dry Bones and allows them to use the building). After we met, we were told that we would be going on an 'Urban Plunge.' Basically what that means is that we will be experiencing a few hours of the day with the resources that a street kid or homeless youth would have. In other words, we had nothing but the clothes on our backs and a few bucks.

We took the bus to get downtown and then spent two hours asking for directions from complete strangers or street kids as we tried to find our way to certain locations. Trust me, finding your way around a new city with no previous knowledge of streets or buildings is not easy.

We found that it wasn't all that easy to spend the morning on the streets with nothing. The streets are packed with busy people who are going to and from places, and help is not easy to find.

In the afternoon, we went on a 'Turf Tour' through a park in downtown Denver. This wasn't my first time to go on one, but it was still definitely just as enlightening. We saw some of the dark and bleeding places in Denver and had our eyes opened by the things we saw (including a near encounter with two men involved in sexual activities).

One thing that definitely showed the contrast of the living conditions here was that the park was situated near some new and developing areas where some fairly nice apartments had been built. Matt Wallace and Reb Duke (two of the staff of Dry Bones) told us that the chances that the people living in these apartments knowing about the squats that were basically right below their buildings was extremely small. The people living there don't even know about the life happening right below them! Makes me wonder about what life I have missed all around me.

As we continued on our tour, we heard stories about street kids living and sleeping in different places and saw drug paraphernalia and other basic living commodities. One story we heard was that of Trent. Trent was a heroine addict who lived on the streets for many years trying to feed his addiction by any means possible. For a few years, Trent lived in a stairwell looking across into the afore mentioned apartments. He could see some of the things that went on inside and realized that while he wasn't happy living on the streets and being addicted to drugs, the people living in much better conditions just across the way weren't all that happy either. Trent realized that while there are things in this world that can certainly make life easier on a person, these things do not make life worth living.

After our tour ended for the day, we went to a bowling alley and met up with 25 or so street kids. We bowled for two hours and I met some pretty awesome people like Steve, Hoss, Undertaker, Karen, Cassi, Leprechaun, and Don. We bowled and just had fun with some new friends. After bowling, we had dinner with these new friends and continued to get to know them.

So all in all, today was very eventful. The stories of some of the youth were really quite difficult to digest. But what was truly great about today was not only meeting some of the people the world has deemed unlovable, but also getting to see them through God's eyes: human beings who have a hard time being able to do almost anything because of the way the world has been set up, people who struggle with very real drug addictions, and yet, people who are very real and have very real hearts and emotions.

Also, in case you were wondering about how Trent is now, he has been in prison for the past three years (serving time for all the tickets and warrants that he had failed to pay and take care of). He is currently clean and sober and very joyful in his situation. And best of all, he is seeking God with all his heart, trying to remain clean and sober through his release from jail in November and beyond in order to be an example of the change that God has helped him to find in his own life.

Mountains

Let me start by giving some background information about myself. I grew up most of my life in the Hills of North Richland. Now, this name is a bit misleading because there are no real hills in this city. It is almost completely flat but for a few 'hills,' if you could even call them that. And even after that, in Abilene it is also nearly completely flatlands also.

So on Monday, the staff of Dry Bones, the other interns for the summer, and myself headed up the mountain to have a few days to get to know one another and go over some expectations and rules for the interns. I have never really done any serious hiking before so I was rather excited about this, as well as meeting and getting to know other interns/staff.

So we set out to hike this mountain. As we were climbing, we got high enough onto the mountain that we began to be hiking in the snow. Now for someone like me who has lived in Texas almost his whole life and hasn't ever really seen snow much, this was a pretty awesome experience. Especially since it is now June!

We reached the cabin that we were going to be staying in and had a pretty incredible view of the other snow peaked mountains. It was really a great couple of days getting to know the people that I will be working with this summer.

Being in the mountains and in the snow (in June! I still can't get over that) was just another reminder of how awesome the creation is. God really knew what he was doing when he made the earth, and I am glad that I get to experience it in a small way here in Denver this summer.

Arrival

So Ben, Cole, and I have officially been here for our first day now, and we are all absolutely loving it! We arrived at Ben and I's host families' house around midnight thirty last night (Sunday morning) not knowing what the family or home would be like. We had heard that the part of town we would be living in was the "ghetto" of Denver, but quickly learned that it was not. The home we are staying in is wonderful and the family has been incredible thus far.

Today, we learned more about our host family (the Ribbles) and they learned about us as we talked and were shown the neighborhood. We learned about previous occupants and some of their stories, as well as the Ribble family and their day to day lives. We also learned how to really say things, such as "You guys," instead of "Y'all," and also that Colorado is pronounced colorAdo instead of colORado.

Tonight, we went to the Wallace house (the Wallace's are two full time Dry Bones employees) and met and ate with not only the other interns, but also the rest of the staff of Dry Bones. As Ben and I talked it over, we both came to the conclusion that they are alright. And of course by alright, I mean that they are as equally awesome as the Ribbles, the home we are staying in, and Colorado in general.

However, what we have been unable to comprehend so far is how incredibly beautiful the natural features are here. We keep coming back to this in our conversations. Whenever we take a turn driving and can see the mountains rise above everything else in the skyline, we are immediately awed by it. It seems almost kind of silly or humorous to me that we have been doing this all day, but at the same time it is extremely pleasant to be repeatedly awed by God's creation. It certainly has been refreshing for us to remember that God formed the land and by his hands all things were created.

Allow yourself to be filled with wonder at God's creation. It is filling Ben and I, and we could not want anything more at this point.

Preparations

So for the past few days, Ben Wiese and I have been trying to figure out some things that we will need to buy and bring with us to Colorado this summer. We have talked about things to buy, things to remember, and things to think about to better prepare ourselves mentally for what we will be doing. Basically we have been doing what we can to get ready to go. As our journey is only a few days away from beginning, our preparations are only getting us more excited to leave and get started.

While both of us are extremely anxious to get going, there is of course the part of me that can't help but think negatively about what might happen. Those who know me well know that when it comes to something about myself, I almost always tend towards the pessimistic side. This feeling isn't anywhere as large as it could be, but it is still there. Mainly I wonder about what I will do in difficult situations and hope that I don't do anything terribly stupid. I know that I want to do good things for others and will do some for some people there, but there is of course the chance that something will happen for the worst.

Despite the preparations that have been made, there is always the chance something bad and unexpected can happen. But for once, I think that I will look ahead with optimism. Despite the preparations that have been made, there is always the chance something good and unexpected can happen.

Sometimes, no, scratch that, almost always I think that God works in ways that are unexpected. Someone comes to us that we never would guess could help us or need our help, or a situation comes up that seems like it never would have happened without God at the helm. And so while there is the chance that I will mess up a conversation or two or twenty, there is the chance that I will get one right and a beautiful relationship will blossom between another and I, or another and God, or even myself and God. And this unexpected relationship is almost always certain to be more beautiful and meaningful than any that can come from hours of preparations.

So here's the moral: this summer, I will try to look optimistically at every encounter, hoping and knowing that something unexpected can happen at any moment. The preparations that have been made aren't bad or wrong, but knowing that God's plans are most certainly better than my own makes me excited about seeing his plan and preparations unravel.

And so, I expect to be pleasantly surprised by the unexpected nature of God. And I expect to learn from the unexpected people with whom I will cross paths.

Waiting

Waiting. It seems like everytime something that is super exciting is coming up, there is always a period (a long period) of waiting before it can happen. It almost seems like this should be archaic nowadays when everything is so instantaneous. But here I sit, waiting. Waiting to go to Colorado to start an internship at Dry Bones, to meet some pretty awesome people who will change my life, and to live radically for other people for God's glory.

And its not just me either. (Waiting, that is, but probably not on the internship.) People are waiting on the newest technology to come out so they can buy it, or for a few years to pass so that they can get a decent job or maybe their dream job, or for this or that. John Mayer is 'Waiting on the World to Change.' Everybody seems to be waiting and hoping for something better than what is right now.

Maybe there is a reason for our waiting. Maybe it isn't just what we have to go through before we get to the cool stuff. Maybe the waiting is a part of whatever we are waiting for. Maybe that helps make what we waited for worth it.

A lot of expectations come out of a time of waiting, too. Expectations of yourself or of whatever you are waiting on, that you will be a better person or changed or that it will be the best experience of your life, that you will never forget it.

I don't really know what to expect from Colorado this summer or even entirely what is expected of me. But I am expecting one thing: that it will be meaningful for myself, and hopefully a few others along the way. I can only hope to love God and love others better than I do now at the end of the summer.

And so here I am. Still waiting. But expectant. Expectant of a growing heart for others and for God.